It is that time of year now when people starting talking about resolutions and what they want to do next year. Very simply put it is something they are going to be resolute about not falter or fail nor deviate from.  This is what their greatest achievement will be for the year ahead.  The problem with this is that you are setting yourself up to fail.  Some of the things that have inspired me over the last 12 months are other people’s resolutions and how they have been termed.  My favourite has to be the bucket list always fun and lively and about following ideals and having new experiences.

For me this time of year between Christmas and New year ,like many is for reflection on what has passed, have I grown and changed are there things I no longer like about me and want to change if so what is it?  and how?

Do I set up myself up to fail I used to, then I changed my perspective on things and created my yearly wish list.  Why do I say wish list as opposed to resolution, it is because these are the things I wish for myself next year and would like to try to make it  happen.  They are not a  given but there are is also no self recriminations towards myself if I should happen to fail or not achieve my desire or my goal.  It gives me the chance to look at what went wrong and try something new next year in achieving the goal.

Last years wish list was not so grand as in previous years and consisted of two main requests

  1. Get married and make it a day to remember
  2. Find a permanent job

Okay so the first was a given, the date was booked, the venue nearly paid for and this time last year my partner and I were in the final throes of wedding panic as the day drew closer.  For me though I was not sure if my father was going to be there, I was dis-heartened as most of my family had decided I was not worth the effort.  On my wedding day my family attendance consisted of my father and sister.  My aunt and her husband along with her daughter’s family which was her husband and daughter too.  Leading up to the day I was feeling dejected as a result of this and had people dropping out the day before and two no shows on the day which hurt and just told me how rude people are.  Since then I have had people who have cut me out of their life and it has been the wedding which has shown me who my friends are and who are not my friends.  Some I have been sad to lose others I have been so long char-chi have a nice life.  Nonetheless it is always hard to say goodbye to friends even if the latter applies.

Nonetheless, I have had a growing feeling over the last year that my friends are growing more and more transient in nature and that as a friend I am there to heal people and make them feel better and lead them to a better way.  Once this way has been done and they have transgressed forwards and moved forwards it is time to leave me behind for pastures new.  A realisation or a deluded self belief in relation to this has led me to change the way I interact with people, as I can no longer bare the pain of being ‘used’ for want of a better word and then being discarded like an old rag.  I broke the chains with family and ex-partners as a result of this it has taken me a longer lesson to learn with the friends but I am learning.

Don’t get me wrong I wont ever turn my back on a friend but I am not going to consume myself with them and their lives I am going to live and live my life my way and if people want to come along great if not then that is their decision not mine.

The second was far more challenging.  Going into this year I was in a maternity cover role which was due to expire at the end of March, it then got extended until end of May and then until July.  I was hoping this meant that I was going to get a permanent position but no.  This frustrated me, but I had been working on the role not being made permanent, so had already made lots of contacts and had job interviews already lined up, prior to the contract eventually coming to an end.   Unfortunately it then took me another 14 weeks before I was able to find secure work.  However the hard work and the effort applied to the job hunting was worth it – see my blogs in relation to this – there are too numerous to list here.  I now work for an amazing company one that I have wanted to work for since I was at University, doing a job I want to do on a salary that can support both my husband and I comfortably, giving him the time to focus on his writing and doing what he loves without him feeling any pressure that he needs to support and provide in a financial sense.  Nonetheless he is to continue with his part-time work which more than anything as he says keeps him sane in times of madness.

This year I suspect the list may be somewhat longer and more demanding and will include things like

  1. Clear my credit card and keep it clear – always a challenge – usually manage 2 months and then pull it out for big expenses
  2. Go on honeymoon – problem is we don’t know where to go although we have got it down to four locations:  1)Maldives, which was our first choice from day one, 2) Bora Bora,  3)Cancun secondary back up choice based on costs and 4) Cuba
  3. Buy me a new laptop
  4. Buy me a SLR camera
  5. Get fit – a bi-product is losing weight which is the real goal but when I say lose weight I get frustrated lose focus so for me to say get fit it is actually more beneficial in that it gets me active again and I have missed being active ever since prolapsing my discs and not being able to do the things I used to love doing.
  6. Get my husband to finish his book and send to publishers
  7. Be happy and enjoy life
  8. Take my step daughter on holiday somewhere she can get a stamp in her passport
  9. Celebrate our first year wedding anniversary in style
  10. Save for our own place
  11. Pass probation at work – which has curiosity would have it falls on our wedding anniversary weekend woo hoo and celebrate in style
  12. Spend time with friends and family
  13. Get back to my diving
  14. Start dancing again – Ballroom and Latin

Not a lot really and some of it is really materialistic but I think this comes from not being able to have been able to buy anything really for a long time.  This urge will quickly diminish and I will go back to thrifty me. thus enabling some of the other events to happen also like the holidays and house saving etc…

I already feel full of hope and promise moving forwards into the new year and I am excited to face it head on and be ready for whatever comes my way.

So to end this may I wish you all a good, fruitful and productive New Year with lots of joy, happiness and enjoyment with few tears along the way

Happy new year everyone

 

 

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