So I got my materials through the other day for the first section of my professional study materials.  I have been slowly reading through this since Monday, between working full time, husband having guests over and playing D&D.  Today was going to be my optimal day of being dedicated, focussed and getting things done.  My target was to to finish chapter one.

However, three hours after starting I find I am only 10 pages further on from where I had started and effectively only half way through the chapter.  Okay so it’s not perfect I tell myself it is progress.  Then I remind myself that next weekend I am supposed to be a 1/4 of the way through this module and ie at the end of Chapter 3 if I want to meet any of the deadlines and have the course completed in time for the 2 year deadline date.  I then had to remind myself my books were a week late in turning up so as long as I am at the end of Chapter 2 next week I am on time – but at the moment, I don’t even think I will manage that.

I then decided to look at preparation time suggested on the study website and it advises 115 minutes to complete the whole chapter, and now I feel even more demoralized with the situation then I did before I had talked myself out of the resigned slump I had put myself into thinking I am never going to reach my 1/4 milestone target.

Emotionally I now feel a wreck.  My stress levels have had hit the roof and all I really want to do right now is cry.  Throw the books out the window like a child and quit.  None of which I know are really productive and that it is purely an emotive knee jerk reaction.  I am sure a good night’s sleep and some time away will make everything better again.

As a result of this I have decided to draw a blank on this today and come back to things fresh tomorrow.

Close the door as I think the background noise is not helping with my concentration levels and just shut the world out and get on with it.  Naturally if I dont complete the deadlines then my treat of the cinema next week is off the agenda.  Might as well start giving myself the treat enhancement option as an incentive to try and get things done.  Let’s see how well it works moving forwards.

Wish me well and lets hope I can catch up