Resolutions, Solutions bleh

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It is that time of year now when people starting talking about resolutions and what they want to do next year. Very simply put it is something they are going to be resolute about not falter or fail nor deviate from.  This is what their greatest achievement will be for the year ahead.  The problem with this is that you are setting yourself up to fail.  Some of the things that have inspired me over the last 12 months are other people’s resolutions and how they have been termed.  My favourite has to be the bucket list always fun and lively and about following ideals and having new experiences.

For me this time of year between Christmas and New year ,like many is for reflection on what has passed, have I grown and changed are there things I no longer like about me and want to change if so what is it?  and how?

Do I set up myself up to fail I used to, then I changed my perspective on things and created my yearly wish list.  Why do I say wish list as opposed to resolution, it is because these are the things I wish for myself next year and would like to try to make it  happen.  They are not a  given but there are is also no self recriminations towards myself if I should happen to fail or not achieve my desire or my goal.  It gives me the chance to look at what went wrong and try something new next year in achieving the goal.

Last years wish list was not so grand as in previous years and consisted of two main requests

  1. Get married and make it a day to remember
  2. Find a permanent job

Okay so the first was a given, the date was booked, the venue nearly paid for and this time last year my partner and I were in the final throes of wedding panic as the day drew closer.  For me though I was not sure if my father was going to be there, I was dis-heartened as most of my family had decided I was not worth the effort.  On my wedding day my family attendance consisted of my father and sister.  My aunt and her husband along with her daughter’s family which was her husband and daughter too.  Leading up to the day I was feeling dejected as a result of this and had people dropping out the day before and two no shows on the day which hurt and just told me how rude people are.  Since then I have had people who have cut me out of their life and it has been the wedding which has shown me who my friends are and who are not my friends.  Some I have been sad to lose others I have been so long char-chi have a nice life.  Nonetheless it is always hard to say goodbye to friends even if the latter applies.

Nonetheless, I have had a growing feeling over the last year that my friends are growing more and more transient in nature and that as a friend I am there to heal people and make them feel better and lead them to a better way.  Once this way has been done and they have transgressed forwards and moved forwards it is time to leave me behind for pastures new.  A realisation or a deluded self belief in relation to this has led me to change the way I interact with people, as I can no longer bare the pain of being ‘used’ for want of a better word and then being discarded like an old rag.  I broke the chains with family and ex-partners as a result of this it has taken me a longer lesson to learn with the friends but I am learning.

Don’t get me wrong I wont ever turn my back on a friend but I am not going to consume myself with them and their lives I am going to live and live my life my way and if people want to come along great if not then that is their decision not mine.

The second was far more challenging.  Going into this year I was in a maternity cover role which was due to expire at the end of March, it then got extended until end of May and then until July.  I was hoping this meant that I was going to get a permanent position but no.  This frustrated me, but I had been working on the role not being made permanent, so had already made lots of contacts and had job interviews already lined up, prior to the contract eventually coming to an end.   Unfortunately it then took me another 14 weeks before I was able to find secure work.  However the hard work and the effort applied to the job hunting was worth it – see my blogs in relation to this – there are too numerous to list here.  I now work for an amazing company one that I have wanted to work for since I was at University, doing a job I want to do on a salary that can support both my husband and I comfortably, giving him the time to focus on his writing and doing what he loves without him feeling any pressure that he needs to support and provide in a financial sense.  Nonetheless he is to continue with his part-time work which more than anything as he says keeps him sane in times of madness.

This year I suspect the list may be somewhat longer and more demanding and will include things like

  1. Clear my credit card and keep it clear – always a challenge – usually manage 2 months and then pull it out for big expenses
  2. Go on honeymoon – problem is we don’t know where to go although we have got it down to four locations:  1)Maldives, which was our first choice from day one, 2) Bora Bora,  3)Cancun secondary back up choice based on costs and 4) Cuba
  3. Buy me a new laptop
  4. Buy me a SLR camera
  5. Get fit – a bi-product is losing weight which is the real goal but when I say lose weight I get frustrated lose focus so for me to say get fit it is actually more beneficial in that it gets me active again and I have missed being active ever since prolapsing my discs and not being able to do the things I used to love doing.
  6. Get my husband to finish his book and send to publishers
  7. Be happy and enjoy life
  8. Take my step daughter on holiday somewhere she can get a stamp in her passport
  9. Celebrate our first year wedding anniversary in style
  10. Save for our own place
  11. Pass probation at work – which has curiosity would have it falls on our wedding anniversary weekend woo hoo and celebrate in style
  12. Spend time with friends and family
  13. Get back to my diving
  14. Start dancing again – Ballroom and Latin

Not a lot really and some of it is really materialistic but I think this comes from not being able to have been able to buy anything really for a long time.  This urge will quickly diminish and I will go back to thrifty me. thus enabling some of the other events to happen also like the holidays and house saving etc…

I already feel full of hope and promise moving forwards into the new year and I am excited to face it head on and be ready for whatever comes my way.

So to end this may I wish you all a good, fruitful and productive New Year with lots of joy, happiness and enjoyment with few tears along the way

Happy new year everyone




Halo 4 Failings

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This blog is dedicated to the Googler who typed the title of this blog into the search engine and found me.  Until now I have not commenced on any of my many failings in any of the Halo games.  However. since this has been a search engine request, let me engage the pleasure of my readers with a few small failings.  Apologies up front for having no images to currently to insert into this article.  I will however up date, once I download some of the

Server Failure

The servers were down and so playing on-line multi-players, although I managed a couple of double kills, none were recorded, meaning that in the recent achievement for double kills, my early ones did not count, and I have only recently managed to get my sum total back up to 1 since that day.  Pathetic I know.

Spawn failure

There are so many, however I am only going to choose a few.  This is from a friends catalogue, who re-spawned onto a point where the ground had already given way, and so died instantly through a supposed suicide.

From my side of the things, out of the Spartan Ops training sessions, week one, chapter 1.1.  Our Warthog got span, and landed on top of me.  For a change this did not kill me – although I was dis-orientated by the experience as one would be.  The warthog then blew up with me still underneath it.  My Spawn point, inside the hillside next to it.  Unfortunately, this meant when my partner died he also spawned inside the mountain and a total re-load of the chapter was needed not good.

Other re-spawn failures have been when I had died, re-spawned in the line of fire, re-appeared and then died instantly as I was snipered out by a Plasma gun – no fun.  Boo and Hiss I think was my active response to this one.

General Failings

Again they have been many from all the Halo Games but I am focussing on 4 and will choose some of the more entertaining ones.

Lets start with my friend who spawned into an empty spot.  On Sunday whilst playing we were having a general conversation about our multiple and interesting failings within the game, at which point, whilst playing a missing on heroic with Thunderstruck skull loaded – for an achievement, we walked into a lift.  The lift door however, choose to come down on our friends head, throwing a lifeless and dead body in with us.  Whoops.  We decided there and then he had the award of most unusual ways to die.  It has kept me giggling ever since – Thanks Neil.

However, other failings that have occurred.  Whilst playing yet again Spartan Ops and chapter 1.1 we were taking out the last batch of Elites and grunts at the top of the hill, me in a ghost, my partner on foot.  As we took out the last one we celebrated, I did a spin in the ghost, unfortunately my partner got too close to the ghost and I accidentally killed him…. whoops.

Other fails in the campaign, where in Requiem at the stage after escaping the ship and going through the countryside.  I had opted to use a wart hog for ease of convenience.  It seemed a great idea at the time, especially with the grunts about.  However as my husband said, cooking food and trying to watch my run them over has never proved so hilariously funny in a long time.  Glad to say this is not a reflection of my true driving skills, which are much better, i.e. I hit whatever I mean to when driving – only joking.

Near Misses

There have probably been several, but the most obvious again, refers back to playing on Sunday with friends.  We had just climbed up the lift shaft.  The door closed and you guessed it – Mr I die in the most unusual places was left outside.  He shot the door out of frustration, this allowed him in – somehow – but the bullet travelled through the closed-door and hit me.  With then the noise of my shields failing – Thanks for that.  This then resulted in the conversation noted above about how we die in the most peculiar of deaths in this game.

Hope you have enjoyed my current failings.  I will try to get some images up shortly to go with this blog.  Until then read and enjoy.  I am sure there will be more to follow shortly


Good start to the week


Well today has started off as manic as last week ended.  I had an interview first thing this morning, with London Business School   as a member of their procurement team. With plans to do the hoovering, the putting away of clothes and ironing, when I get back – what a charmed and party life I lead.  However, no life had decided that was not going to be the case at all.  On the walk from the station to finding the building for my interview. I over-stretched my leg and twinged my back again.  This made walking sore to say the least.

To top it of I could not change back into trainers just yet so had to hobble about on the heels until after the interview.  Saying this though, the interview went well, but I suspect from conversations that I have been having with the relevant parties that it may be some time before feedback is forth coming as their HR department is at half its normal strength at the moment, which is not a good state to be in.  Nonetheless it was a productive interview day and it is now fingers crossed sit and wait.  However I have come home, which meant arriving at my desk a little over 90 minutes ago give or take to pick up the reigns for this week.  The first of these battles is starting to source out the weekend emails.  Chase up old job conversations and agents and see what is about and happening, along with trying not to do any more damage to the back.

The weekend itself was actually quite nice.  Saturday I had to go collect some gifts from last weeks pottery painting session, and to be honest, they have turned out far nicer and better than I had anticipated which is always good.  This then leant to us going to visit my brother-in-law who lived around the corner and his wife and son.  A lovely afternoon was had with them, despite nursing a horrible headache, which upon the return journey turned nasty and resulted in me being in bed by  1800 GMT to sleep it off.

Sunday then was more relaxed and chilled, we caught up on some missed TV, played Halo 4 online and completed some challenges before zoning out prior to this mornings’ madness.

The plan therefore to focus on NANO went out of the window as you can see from the above.  However the positives with the ride in on the train, I did manage to write-up about 7 pages of ideas, and had to stop as a result of arriving at my station.  So hopefully I will get to write some more later and type it all up in the next day or too, and then I can say I have broken the 10k mark – I should be so lucky.  I am so far behind it is silly but I am going to keep going and see what happens.  However it does look like I will brake last years total- which is something at least.
Anyway I hope you all continue to enjoy your Mondays’ and it is far more restful than mine is turning out to be and I will be returning shortly.  When I am not sure but it will be happening, I assure you.

Video interviewing

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Today has been the first day in which I have had a chance to sit and catch up with all me old emails from job hunts as, the last few days have been so full on with interviews and meetings.  Yesterday I ended up writing off, not because my HALO 4 had turned up but because I was starting to hit burn out stage of the job hunting process.  I could I tell.  I turned into a complete Bitch.  Being short with my partner for no reason what so ever, bursting into floods of tears and just wanting to cry.

I think the stress levels of not working, and wanting to work, being turned down for jobs when there are things I cannot control, was just taking its immeasurable toll on me.  So what did I do to fix the problem, not a lot.  I eventually sat down at about 1600 GMT time to blow up some aliens, and considering the game had been here for some time since 1000 that morning – I was impressed with myself.  Part of this was though as a result of having to have a meeting with an agent regarding another potential role that afternoon.  One of the things I did not want to happen was to get engrossed in the game and miss the meeting.  So I stayed working through applications, with tears down my face at certain points, until I had to wipe off my tears, paint on the smile and make the drive to Slough for the agreed meeting.

On the positive side of things though the meeting went well, I should hear if I have an interview within the next  72 hours so that is good news.  I should also hear in that time scale if I have a job with one of the biggest media moguls too, so all fingers and toes are crossed at the moment.  Nonetheless today has at times been slow and other times a blur.  I have just had to complete my first video interview which was surreal to say the least, especially since I had to borrow hubby’s laptop as my desktop does not have a web cam or microphone attached to it.  Despite that it was fun, even if a little nerve-racking as there was no real interaction and there was no body language to feed off since the companies questions were pre-recorded for reflection purposes.  I actually felt more on edge with that than a real face to face interview.  I guess time will tell if I have been successful here or not.

On the other side of things I also have a telephone interview with a subsidiary of BAE tomorrow which should be interesting and fun to say the least, I am currently just awaiting on the confirmation of the time so I can then take the details and preparation for it.

However now most things are done I want to sit and try to catch up on some Nanowrimo, since I have had no time in the last 24 hours to do any of it at all, and I am falling further and further behind in the word count which is not good.  Today I should be aiming for the 12k mark, currently I am still sat at the 3k mark.  Lots of work to make up then 9k in total.  When I think of things in that capacity it scares me of how far behind I have fallen, but I know I can do it.  At worst case scenario this weekend just becomes a full on writing fest in the house to get tasks and missions done.  Wish me luck on all fronts and I will try to write more later

Have a fun evening everyone



Geeking out and NANO Fail

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Well what more can I say than the title already expresses.

Today is launch day for one of the biggest game releases this year.  Yes that is Right an ancient evil re-awakens and its time to face the Promthens and the Fore-Runners emerge with vengeance onto the screen.  I suspect there will be lots of swearing lots of frustrations at this more intelligent AI set in this game.  So my treat for when I return  from my meeting this afternoon is HALO 4.

Why a NANO fail?  We are currently on day 6 I am 7k behind count already not boding well  but the idea is there and I still have some to type up but it feels like everything is going drastically slow.  On the positive I am only a mere 2k behind where I managed to get to last year.  So I am hoping for a semi win and to try to catch up the writing shortly.

I just need to get a concentrated burst on it and I will be fine.  In fact if I can manage to write 2k words in 90 minutes catching up on my missing 7k should not be such a mountain  to climb – last fateful words.

At this moment in time, hubby is loading HALO 4 onto the X-BOX. I am completing the job searching and then getting ready for interview stage one with agent for a procurement role

All go in Maidment Towers again today, when will the twirling stop it really is starting to make me feel quite dizzy.


S7 ep.12 The one where they are up all night

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Last night my night resembled an episode of one of my favourite series’ of all times.  For those who have not worked this out from the title of my article.  The series would be Friends.

Two night ago our fire alarm saved our lives.  We had lit some fragrant candles, but were not aware how low they were and one managed to catch light.  Thankfully they were contained into a small bowl for holding which contained the flames and the fire was extinguished with no external damage.  All was well.  We thanked our smoke alarm for doing its job and then wondered why I seemed to attract fire wherever I seemed to go.  I mention this as in the last place my partner lived, I was cooking and the pan got too hot and burst into flames.  I turned the ring off smothered a tea-towel in cold water and draped it over the flames quenching them.  No lasting damage.  I think his landlord was always slightly relieved – being a fire fighter and all.  Being called out to your own house being on fire would not be something I would want to be present at. However, no there was no uncertain fire or consequence of such nature last night.  The fire alarm would not shut up.

Both my partner and I were up most of the night trying to get it to shut up.  Initially thinking it was the battery we went to remove it, only to discover that it was mains operated not battery operated.  He then removed it from the mains connection and it still beeped, beep beep.  Is what we heard.  We then got up again and found a battery source and removed that.  It still went beep, beep , beep.  By 0530 this morning we are both tired, drained and not looking forward to the day ahead.

This then reminded me of the above episode from Friends, when Phoebe is eventually allowed to move back into her flat after it burning down but her fire alarm, wont turn off and is constantly beeping.  She hits the stop button, removes the battery, disconnects all sections of the alarm so they are no longer connected to each other but still it beeps.  In frustration she wraps it in a blanket and throws it down the ‘garbage shoot’.  Only to be woken by fire man asking if the blanket is her and warning of her breaking the law by removing her smoke alarm.  She then says fine sulkily before asking how to stop the bleeping.  Hit the re-set button comes the answer.  Thanks.  She hunts out the re-set button hits it.  All is quiet for a few moments before it starts beeping again.

The irony is, I asked my other half this morning did he find the re-set button and hit it.  What re-set button?  I think there may be a re-set button somewhere.  One trick still to try.  Although at the moment, all seems peacefully quiet and the absence of the beeping is suddenly now disconcerting.  I guess it is that whole story you  do not really know how noisy a place is until a noise that has always been there stops.

When he comes home from work this evening we will try to fix it, until then it can sit disconnected and I just wont light any candles, cook any food or use any matches

Have a good day

Turmoiled Tuesday

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I was not expecting much from today after the chagrin that this morning had caused me.  With the unexpected tax bill that I had to pay and then the HMRC issuing an extra charge has I paid on credit card.  Of which there was no mention of this in the letter they sent; I was left some what irate.  So I wrote a very unhappy letter back to HMRC asking them to reimburse the additional cost as I did not feel that it was within the spirit of the law in the way they had dropped the additional charge onto credit card onto the individual.  Even if nothing happens it made me feel a bit better.

Then to compound things I received an email from a company I had met with last week at RHP who advised that although they were impressed with my CV, felt that traveling out to Romford from Surrey was to far a trek and would consider my options if something closer to my current living situation become available.  No questions were asked if I would re-allocate if I was moving just thanks but no it is too far to travel.  With this in mind I was starting to feel like Tuesday was turning into something of a damp squib.  To top it of my poor husband had to deal with an incredibly stroppy and moody cow for the first part of the day before trundling into work this afternoon.

I am however pleased to report that my black mood and the blueness of the day did not continue.  With an improved and enhanced CV -or at least I hoped so –   as  I re-convened on the job hunt market.  Reviewing jobs,  CV and covering letter to continue with my desire to find something before this year is out, ideally before the end of November.  I had obviously done something right as I had some Psychometric testing for Barclays Bank to do.  I always hate these especially the numeric sections.  I just know I am not going to do well and I can kiss goodbye to the job.  Nonetheless I pursued in the interest of securing something and felt uplifted having done the practice session and getting 63% pass rate on the maths as opposed to my usual misery 45% or below.  Then half-way through the testing I received a call from a recruitment agency in relation to a job that I had applied for earlier on in the day.  Forgetting that I was doing timed Psychometric testing I answered the call, and then having to excuse myself and asking the person to call me back.  Naturally I did not finish the numerical data side of the Psychometric tests but it is done and now it is very much a waiting game to see what happens – fingers crossed.  In hindsight I should have switched the phone off. However I don’t think that I would have completed the numerical testing either way, so hey ho and all that.

I then went back to check my emails to discover another two attempted contacts for another two possible roles.  I responded to both, and will chase the respective agents tomorrow for more in-depth discussions.  I then called back Hays to discuss the role of a Senior Procurement Analysis.  A combination of both Procurement, with management and business analysis and review of existing and forthcoming requirements.  The added benefit being that the office is literally 30 minutes from my house with a great salary.  Really excited about this prospect.  The agent has sent me a more in-depth job specification to review this evening before having more conversations and CV tweaking options tomorrow.

Then to complete my day Vodafone called me.  You must remember my tweet of Technology and Me and Friday Frump, well today Vodafone well and truly redeemed themselves.  Thank you Vodafone.  I had a lovely call when they called, we went through what I was expecting, what had happened and now I was still stuck with this awful handset that I did not want.  Well not anymore, as of this evening, Kay from Vodafone, cancelled the second line that had been set-up, transferred my existing number to my new phone, give me my three months early upgrade, in effect upgrading me 6 months earlier than I can do so.  In addition to this I have a slight increase on my line rental for unlimited, minutes, texts, and data for the first three months and then my data reverts to a 1Gb download limit.  Since I rarely download now I don’t see a 1Gb download a useable amount.

Feeling a very bright, positive and happy bunny this evening.

I suspect all this will change, as my husband has his diabetic eye review tomorrow morning and then I have to drag him with me straight to the DHSS for sign-on  and then to Vodafone to get my new Sim to I can use my phone.  This is turning into a good week.

On a side note, I hope your day will continue to be as bright and as sunny as mine has been and will shine bright for the rest of the week

Happy Tuesday

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